Thursday, October 30, 2008

Please Please Please!

Xenophobic concervatives were the winners of the municipal elections in Finland, getting 5,4% of the votes – but they started from zero.

And I am happily thinking it is not impossible to leave this country some day.

As even the moon is guarded by the Americans, should McCain win there is no place where to escape this ultimate stupidity and arrogant ignorance so typical of concervative right-win politicians in the USA.

Let's help the people of the USA and push Obama's campaign. I give you, my fellow Europeans, some useful tips:

* Whenever you meet with an American who seems religious Christian, conservative, and you know, Republican-minded, tell him you wish McCain won and McCain is widely supported by your fellow Finns/Swedes/Russians/Nigerians. (I don't know about Sweden and Nigeria, but in Finland there are only few supporters of McCain. In Russia this most likely applies, though.)

=> knowing about the support from foreign countries there is no chance he would vote for McCain.

And you don't need to worry about some foreign newspaper revealing the real truth, because concervative Americans don't read foreign newspapers. Actually, they seldom travel anywhere. So it is not likely you'd met any. Ok, this was not a good piece of advice, but lousy.

Denali National Park in Alaska

* But this is a good one: Sisters, let your hair down, add some curls or cut it short. If you have longer hair, wear it in messy-looking style Heather Locklear used to have in 1990's, as if suggesting you have had sex only a minute ago. (This hairstyle is still awfully popular in Sweden, especially among ladies in their 50s.)

=> even in remote corners of Northern Lapland DO NOT get mixed with fans of Sarah Palin and thus channel positive energy into her camp of heavily armed religious lunatics.

=> But if you actually meet a supporter of hers, tie your hair up on your head and tell her you adore Sarah Palin, and when Alaska is transformed into a huge oil field the Russian oligarks (and smaller players now buying houses by the big lakes in eastern Finland) will quickly build their datchas in Alaska as well, since for them the Northern USA feels even more like home, at the same time being the country of their dreams. (And boy, aren't they religious, too. And when it comes to Palin's beloved hobby hunting I bet some Russkie oligarks would love to join the team.)

* * *

I just have to end this post by saying Please, Please, Please: go for Obama, please. Yes you can!

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